Faith

I came across some definitions and other's thoughts on faith and it set me pondering and struck a few chords. So I thought I'd share:

"Faith is nothing more than receiving what God offers." (Ephesians 2: 8,9 "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.")

faith: (1) fidelity to one's promises (2) belief and trust in and loyalty to God (3) complete trust (webster's collegiate dictionary)

"Every time you venture out in the life of faith, you will find something in your common-sense circumstances that flatly contradicts your faith. Common sense is not faith, and faith is not common sense; they stand in the relation of the natural and the spiritual. Can you trust Jesus Christ where your common sense cannot trust Him?....Every time my programme of belief is clear to my own mind, I come across something that contrdicts it. Let me say I believe God will supply all my need, and then let me run dry, with no outlook, and see whether I will go through the trial of faith, or whether I will sink back to something lower.

Faith must be tested, because it can be turned into a personal possession only through conflict....The final thing is confidence in Jesus. ...There is continual testing in the life of faith...may God keep us in fighting trim! Faith is unutterable trust in God, trust which never dreams that He will not stand by us." (Oswald Chambers, aug. 29th)

I find myself in the beginnings of a new season for me, and I feel things shifting and changing and it is dissettling and yet also exciting. I find I come back to asking myself if I will trust Him, His goodness and what He has for me as I step out, or will I look at the obstacles in the way, the unknowns, and lose sight of Him who has shown Himself unutterably trustworthy, loving and for me. Let us not be consummed by the small story bumps in the road, the hows and whys. Let us be consummed with His Big Picture and the person of Jesus Christ.

God must laugh...

It is a freaky small world my friends. (In a good way in this case :)

My mom was married yesterday, and so I have a new step dad and step family. They are originally from Florida and Minnesota, great people, and this weekend was a great whirlwind merger of families and wedding feasts. It struck me as I was flying over that I would have a step sister and a step brother, it seemed odd to me yet very appealing. I don't have a natural sister, so this seemed promising. I had nooooo idea.

So Megan is my step sister, my age and we have similar interests. We both love to travel, we love culture, and we both studied abroad in college...in the same country- Holland......in the same city- Utrecht..... at the same time- spring semester 2001.... in the same international program at Universitat Utrecht.. had the same professors- Dutch Culture class.... went to the same pubs- Mick O'Connells...... AND she said she knew people from my university (OU).... then named my best guy friend/ex-boyfriend's name......they went as a group to Paris together!....and it all starts coming back.....I REMEMBER HER from 5 years ago, in another country....and had NO idea then that her dad would one day marry my mom! WILD.

God must laugh....He knew already. Needless to say it was a confounding discovery for us.

I like the rest of my "new" family is well, it just didn't strike so unusual. My step dad is an amazing and very kind man, my step brother is brilliant, my step aunt is friendly and my step grandparents are very sweet.....

So Congrats to my Mom and Jeff! (they are so happy!) And to God for constructing this amazing match!

.....its a small world afterall.....

Grosse Point Blank Tulsa Style

Well, I got an invitiation to my 10th High School reunion in the mail. Part of me thinks, "wow...am I that "old" then?", and another started thinking of the 80's/90's movies I've seen that have High School Reunions in them and wondered if it would be a good idea to go or not. It ends up that I will be in my home town of Tulsa, OK the weekend before the Reunion, so I will miss it. Although I would have liked to see some people I haven't talked with in well, 10 years, I have held on to the handful that remain my cherished ones.

Thinking about seeing people I haven't seen in awhile made me think of how I honestly would want to impress them...or at least made me see how I would want to be able to feel good about myself and my story of the last 10 years. Silly huh, that I would want the good opinion of people who might not recognize or remember me. I realize that desire to have accomplished something great, that need to have had some worthwhile impact, position, skill or wisdom. I think I already had my quarter-life crisis and God helped me out getting a better perspective.

God is gentle in showing me its not how the world views me, nor their opinion or even my own that counts, but how He sees me. It's amazing...or rather He is amazing. Some thoughts.

SUPERHERO FUN

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 70% Spider-Man 70% Supergirl 65% Wonder Woman 65% Robin 65% The Flash 45% Hulk 40% Green Lantern 40% Catwoman 40% Iron Man 35% Batman 30%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Song- I'm just a bird....

I'm just a bird, with a melody to sing
I'm hardly heard, look at these tiny little wings

But I can see an arrow flying, and I'm not afraid
I can hear terror try to steal the night away
But I'm not afraid, no I'm not afraid

This is what we do, Psalm 91
I am hiding here in your shadows, I am riding under your wings
I am flying trusting, I'm living in your covering
and I'm not afraid

I'm just a bird without a penny to my name
may sound absurd, I've got no plans beyond today

-jason upton, Matt 6:26-34, psalm 91

Ponderings and Calculations

"All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God." - Oswald Chambers

I like that quote because I see how I calculate things in my mind without Him, and see how short sighted and frustrated I get. Even when I just try and calculate things in general... how can you make a sum or matrix or figure out the Living God and His ways? well sometimes I think I can.

So I was trying to figure out what this summer will look like for me. I have the opportunity to house sit for two weeks in a gorgeous house, complete with pool and hot tub. So I figured I could concentrate on a theme, be intentional with time and enjoy the space and maybe make some extra income. Then I figured I'd come back to my house and possibly get a part time job near my area until I go to the mainland for my mom's wedding later this summer.

For instance, I thought I might just focus on painting for two weeks. I have been painting more recently and even took a few of my things to a gallery owner/professional artist who had asked me to bring it by. Honestly it was stepping out for me to take my stuff to a "professional" and I was all nervous. It was sobering and encouraging too. I got some great feedback, he had helpful technique tips and guidance for me, but essentially said there are so many painters in Hawaii with 20+ yrs. of experience on me, so it would be more difficult for me to try to market my art. (in his opinion people in hawaii only like to by what they see...landmarks, turtles, etc so my other abstracts, non-hawaiian things wouldn't go well here, and the familiar have been done so much I need more experience to stand out). So we chatted a bit and I told him I had sculpted in college. I haven't taken a painting or studio art class since high school and I got a "C" and an "F" but that is another story. :) Anyhow, he saw my sculpture photos from college and was impressed; he suggested I do that again (not many sculptors in hawaii) and he would be happy to sell my work if I had some small bronzes of local stuff. So encouraging but I don't know if that's the direction I wanna go in. So my painting calculations look like they probably don't add up. go figure. :)

Then on sunday, I got two more housesitting offers.. on the same day...in the same area. I'll be in Hawaii Kai area for most of the summer, caring for a few dogs, and an exotic bird. (in addition to primary God time, doing ABA autism therapy with one boy and some childcare that is my usual) What is neat about this and we hadn't seen it coming, is that a family friend, Ashley is coming to stay at my house for the summer. She was going to sleep on the futon or couch, and now she can stay in my room while I'm gone...so I get blessed and so does she. cool, eh?

So I don't have all the numbers in order or figured out, but I'm learning not to fret about it. There are so many things in my life that I can't account for unless I attribute it to God anyhow, but I still get caught for a loop when God throws those surprise elements into my equation and it takes me back to square 1, yet again. Thing is, I'm glad He does in His goodness and mercy, so I get to trust Him and learn more of His character. I'm diggin this metaphor thing...So I don't know if I'll be painting much, but its back to His drawing board for me.

Bibliophile's Corner and the Larger Theme of Intimacy

A couple of book recommendations... The Sacred Romance Drawing Closer to the Heart of God by Curtis and Eldredge ..the longing for transcendence; the desire to be part of somthing larger than ourselves is instilled in us.. "Romance has most often come to us in the form of two deep desires: the longing for adventure that requires something of us and the desire for intimacy- to have someone truly know us for ourselves, while at the same time inviting us to know them... There are too many awesome quotes and themes in this book to even properly get started, but I gotta outline and toss a few out there to whet your appetite: The Larger Story Act I: God's Eternal Heart The Wholy Holy Wild, Living God The story that is the Sacred Romance begins not with God alone, the Author at his desk, but God in relationship, intimacy beyond our wildest imagination, heroic intimacy...we long for intimacy because we are made in the image of perfect intimacy.......before our stories began were Father, Son and the Holy Spirit....from the beginning, we know that God is a lover at heart, from all eternity. Act II: His Heart Betrayed The Adversary: Legends of the Fall Satan mounted his rebellion through the power of one idea: God doesn't have a good heart...he deceived a multitude of the heavely host by sowing the seed of doubt in their minds that God was somehow holding out on them. As Melville said, "The reason the mass of men fear God and at bottom dislike him is because they rather distrust his heart, and fancy him all brain, like a watch." And this is Satan's strategy with each of us: to kill the desire that would eventually lead us back to the One who loves us, using all the forms of shame, contempt, apathy, enesthesia, and perversion at his disposal. Act III: His Heart on Trial The Beloved God created us for intimacy with him. ..What does God want from us?... From one religious camp we're told that what God wants is obedience, or sacrifice, or adherence to the right doctrines, or morality. Those are the answers offered by conservative churches. The more therapeutic churches suggest that no, God is after our contentment, or happieness, or self-actualization, or something else along those lines. He is concerned about all these things, of course, but they are nto his primary concern. What he is after is us -our laughter, our tears, our dreams, our fears, our heart of hearts. Who am I, really? The answer to that question is found in the answer to another: What is God's heart toward me, or, how do I affect him? ..If God is the Pursuer, the Ageless Romancer, the Lover, then there has to be a BELOVED, one who is the Pursued. This is our role in the story. ...His love for us is not based on what we've done, but who we are: His Beloved. Jesus prayed "This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent." (john 17:3) Enjoying God or Burning Heart both by S.J. Hill I got the pleasure of hearing S.J speak here on Oahu, excellent, excellent stuff here. He has served over 35 yrs with various ministires (Brownsville Revival, F.I.R.E., IHOP KC) and carries the scripture and message of the Father Heart of God and the Bridal Paradym. I know that many guys are uncomfortable with the whole Bridal Theme, but you can think of it as identifying with the closest place of privledge in knowing God's heart, knowing who He is and how He has burning affections and a pure passion for you. (Besides women are called sons of God too in the Body so it isn't a gender thing. :) Some 17th cen. and modern theologians (Oswald Chambers included) have phrased it this way, "The chief end of man is to glorify God BY enjoying Him forever." ENJOY! :)