Absolutely

He asks, "Are you ready for this?" "Absolutely," she answers in a confident, cool British accent.
Well, that is how I'd like to be able to answer but I find my attitude had been one of an inner tantrum. Actually, my friends might say it hasn't been so "inner" or secret. I'm fighting discouragement, lack of trust, and my own selfish will.

The good news is that God is amazing, and I can see His gentle encouragement and sometimes recognize that my weakness allow Him to be seen better in me. Then there is always the revelation that I come back to, that it isn't about me. Huge, but I often forget it when I'm fussing over walls and effort I don't want to face. Lord grand me greater vision, your determination and your heart of wisdom.

My new job is at the Pacific Autism center working with children under 6 with autism as a jr. therapist. My first week was training and shadowing therapy for three children, one of which has greater behavioral problems, meaning a lot of my time was spent with tantrums and non-compliance. It's appropriate because that is how I have felt. I do think this job is God sent despite me attitude. Its really amazing that I have the job for many reasons. When I went to interview I had to leave two of the six page application blank. I have no license or accreditation, just some experience with one wonderful child with autism. I didn't think I belonged there and doubted that I could handle the job. They offered me a position, which I turned down because of circumstances (you need a car, scheduling, etc) and because I wasn't sure I wanted to do it. However they held my position and told me to call back in a week. So I did and after prayer, and that every other job opportunity I was looking at was closed to me, I went in to talk to them. I was late to that appointment, traffic. However they hired me and got me going.

I had not been there one full week when the director pulls me aside and asks me to teach their new summer school program......that starts in four days. I have no teaching credentials or real experience. I have been a substitute teacher for a few months, and been a reading tutor. However I am now teaching core academics to four students, all different ages 7-11, two from Japan that do speak english, one with aspergers syndrome (I learned its akin to high functioning autism), and one is a recovering autistic child. I am making my own curriculum, or rather four different curricula as I go since all the kids are at different development stages. The kids are great, although challenging, but I don't know what I'm doing. It is only by the grace of God that this is happening, it is way over my head and I'm going day to day. On top of that I will be doing autism therapy sessions with the under six crowd in the afternoons. I'm trying not to completely freak out. I take solace in that the school is only for three weeks, there are no major safety concerns, and I can't break them. Stacy and Rohnda have been an immense help with ideas and curriculum things, thanks guys! As well as God leading me to a garage sale while I was on a run (I don't normally go to garage sales, but turned around and went back because I thought I ought to because of a nudge) and the wife was a retired teacher and had some books as media resources for Hawaiian, ocean, and science stuff that I could use. How cool is that?

On the flip side- Absolutely Incredible- God gave me a car!!!!! A beautiful '98 Subaru Forester, white, decked out, awesome. I had been looking for some beater just to get me A to B safely. One of the families in our church GAVE their car away- to me! I had never seen or experienced how the Body of Christ works and cares for each other, it blows me away. It's humbling, beautiful and I am so encouraged and thankful. I hope I can bless the family, or the Lord will for their obedience and amazing generosity. It also seems right on in confirmation that I am in the right place in Hawaii as my home. I had planned to go to the mainland for International House of Prayer Internship(see previous posts) and was going to get there via my black Subaru Imprezza Sport. However, several weeks ago my brother was driving it and was in a car wreck. He is fine, thank you Lord, but my car was totaled. So now I have a new sister Subaru car to more than replace what was lost. God is amazing, and does give good gifts.

So that is the update for now.